City of Sin Read online

  "Hmm." He put his index finger under my chin and titled my gaze back to his. "I hate to break it to you, but this isn't your Valentine's Day gift."

  "It's not?"

  "How about you go back to Kendra's and get changed? I'll pick you up in an hour."

  "I came back to New York with the idea that I had to win you back. Not the other way around." I ran my fingers down his silky tie. "I had completely forgotten that it was Valentine's Day. You don't have to do anything else. I don't even know if I can accept this. I didn't get you anything, Mason."

  "You came back. That's all I wanted." He leaned down and placed a soft kiss against my lips. "Now go get ready before I throw you on top of this desk and the receptionist gets the wrong idea about my hiring process."

  I laughed. "Mason, I was always going to come back. You're home to me." It was the highest compliment I could give someone. Even more than saying I loved him. He was it for me.

  "I like the sound of that. Now, go get ready." His hand slipped down my back and he squeezed my ass.

  I laughed again and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm so happy."

  Chapter 66

  Mason

  I looked down at the ring on my desk. After talking to Kendra last week I had run to the nearest jewelry store and bought the most expensive ring in the case. Rash and poorly thought out. I was upset and drunk and I was feeling desperate. I just wanted Bee back. It would look perfect on her finger. And when she ran her thumb along the spot, she'd be thinking about me, not him.

  I didn't want her to come back to me just because I offered her a ring, though. I wanted her to want me. Really want me, the same way I wanted her. No, needed her. When she had left it felt like I was suffocating. It was all consuming and terrifying.

  I opened up my new desk drawer, put the ring inside, and closed the drawer again. One day I would propose to her. When the thought didn't make my pulse race. I knew I wanted forever with her. But it was too much too soon. I wanted to take my time with Bee. I wanted to enjoy each and every second of every day.

  Which was why naming the company after her and asking her to be my partner was a big step in itself. And that felt right. The timing fit for that. And just seeing her face light up made me smile. She deserved half too. It was her idea that had kick started everything. My goal ever since I graduated from college was to start my own agency. Who knew I just needed to fall in love in order to finally get my priorities straight?

  I looked around the large office. I was excited to get another desk in here and to share this office with Bee. Most couples probably felt anxious about being with their significant other every second of every day. But it's all I wanted. Being able to close the blinds and have her whenever I wanted wouldn't be so bad either.

  I tightened my tie and stood up, pulling on my suit jacket. Not more lies or games or any of that. From now on, I was going to tell Bee the truth. It wasn't something I was used to doing. But I wasn't going to risk losing her again. I had full confidence that we could grow this business together. I had full confidence that she was my future. But before I could jump in, I needed to hear her say it too. I wasn't going to break her heart. I was terrified that she was going to break mine, though.

  ***

  I knocked on the door and Kendra opened it.

  She had a huge smile on her face. "You won her back, huh?"

  "It was probably all the flowers."

  "Probably."

  "Are you having fun preparing for your interview tomorrow?" I asked.

  "Psh. I'm pretty sure my best friend is going to hire me. She likes working with me too."

  "Thanks for helping me out."

  "Of course. We had her totally fooled, right? Was she surprised you were the new boss?"

  "I don't think it even crossed her mind."

  "You know, you're really not so bad, Mason. I had you all wrong."

  "You didn't. But Bee changed me."

  "Ugh. I hate Valentine's Day. All of that romantic crap. It makes me want to throw up."

  I laughed, but my laughter stopped when Bee stepped out of her bedroom. She really did take my breath away. She was wearing the red dress I had bought her for the Silver Gala. Hopefully tonight would end the way I had planned, unlike the last time she had worn it. She had curled her hair and it draped over her bare shoulders. Her smile seemed to have a direct effect on my groin. I was used to having her a few times a day. It had been way, way too long.

  "You look beautiful."

  Her cheeks blushed in that way that made my chest feel tight. I welcomed the feeling now. It was the feeling that kept me going now.

  "You look very handsome," she said and smiled up at me.

  "Vomiting over here!" Kendra yelled from the living room.

  I grabbed Bee's jacket and her hand and pulled her out of the apartment. "Come on. There's something we need to do together."

  "What is it?"

  "A New York City Valentine's Day tradition. Despite what you said before, you do belong here. New York is better off with a girl like you. So I'm going to make sure you become an official New Yorker tonight."

  "An official New Yorker?"

  "Mhm." We stepped out onto the street. It had started to snow. Bee's fingers tightened around my hand. I loved how her hand fit perfectly in mine.

  "Is that for us?" She was staring at the horse drawn carriage in front of us.

  "The first thing is a late night carriage ride through Central Park." I grabbed her hand as she stepped up into the carriage. I scooted in next to her and pulled the blanket onto our lap. "Have you ever been in one of these?"

  "No."

  I put my arm across her shoulders. "It's super touristy, but it's kind of a stepping stone toward being an official New Yorker too."

  "Is that so?"

  I pulled her in even closer as the horses started to trot forward. "Yeah. And honestly, I've never been on one of these either. I've been posing as a true New Yorker this whole time."

  Bee laughed. "So why haven't you been on one before?"

  "I've never had anyone I wanted to go on one with." I smiled down at her.

  "You have all the right lines, Mason Caldwell."

  "Does that mean you want to be my girlfriend again? I'm pretty sure we had the shortest relationship in the history of relationships."

  "Yeah, I didn't even get to tell anyone that you were my boyfriend. I like saying that."

  "I've been referring to you as my girlfriend for awhile now. I don't know why I didn't just talk to you about it. I've been kind of a mess."

  "You've been distracted."

  "Maybe." I ran my hand up and down her arm. "Speaking of telling people, I talked to my parents while you were M.I.A."

  "You did?" She pulled back slightly. "About your argument, or about us, or what?"

  "All of it. They want to meet you. If you still want to meet them."

  "Of course I want to meet them. Do you think they'll like me?"

  "I think they're going to love you. When I told them I had a girlfriend my mom got so excited. Just say the word and we can meet up with them somewhere for dinner one night. Or you can see where I grew up."

  "Do they have embarrassing pictures of you all over the house?"

  "No." I laughed.

  "Really? Geez there are so many horrible pictures of me at my house."

  "Now I kind of want to see that." I squeezed her shoulder.

  "You want to meet my mom?"

  "I'd love to meet your mom."

  "You're just diving head first into this thing now, aren't you?"

  "This past week, I've found out what it's like when you're not a part of my life. I hated every second of it. I'm all in, Bee." Say it back. I needed to hear her say it. That she wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her. All my cards were on the table. Each second that passed made my heart beat a little faster. Say it back, baby.

  "I'm all in too." She leaned against my shoulder. "I feel the exact same way."

  I c
ouldn't help the sigh that escaped from my mouth. Okay. I rested my head on top of hers. Now that I had gotten through the hardest part, we could have some fun. I loved that dress on her, but I probably should have told her to wear pants.

  Chapter 67

  Bee

  I laughed as I started to fall again. Mason grabbed my hips to steady me, but I was already sliding forward on the ice. I ran straight into his chest, making him topple backwards as his skates slid out from underneath of him. I laughed as I fell down on top of his chest.

  "Ow," Mason groaned. He was slightly out of breath and his nose was pink from the cold. It was still flurrying and I wished I could capture this moment forever. He looked so handsome and happy. I had been so worried that I wouldn't be enough for him. But he had made all my worries go away with our conversations earlier. He wanted a future with me. Or he wouldn't have asked me to be his business partner.

  "Sorry." I smiled down at him.

  "I'm pretty sure you broke my ass."

  "No! One of my favorite parts of you!"

  He laughed and sat up. "How does hot chocolate sound?"

  "Perfect." I stumbled onto my feet. It was hard skating in the long dress, but it had still been fun. I reached my hand out to help him up. He grabbed it and pulled me back down on top of him.

  "Are you trying to break my ass too?"

  "I would never. That is my favorite part of you."

  "You're a butt guy? How did I not know that?"

  He shrugged. "I'm a Bee guy. Now let's go get some hot chocolate. I'm freezing."

  We both got to our feet and skated off the rink, hand in hand. I sat down on the bench and undid my skates as he bought hot chocolate at the refreshment stand. He had said he had done this before with his mom and his brother when he was little. But again, no one special later in his life. The thought of me being his first love made me feel warm. I didn't even need hot chocolate. It did feel good when he put the cup into my hands, but maybe it was more the gesture than the warmth from the cup. He was taking care of me. He was showing me a romantic side of New York that I hadn't experienced. He was trying to tell me I belonged. Maybe even more so with him than in this city. I wasn't sure why he was trying so hard to convince me. I had been convinced a long time ago.

  But I had run. I hadn't meant to hurt him. I never wanted to hurt him.

  "You okay?" he asked as he put his arm around my shoulders. "I didn't actually break your ass did I?"

  I laughed. "No. You didn't. Mason?"

  "Yeah?"

  "What did your dad say about the fight you had? About wanting to take over his business?"

  "You were right. They're proud of me."

  The way he said it sounded strange. Like he didn't really believe it. "Is that what they said?"

  "Yeah. It was weird. I've spent so many years resenting them. I've been such an idiot. My dad just wanted what was best for me. He thought that was taking over the family business. He didn't know about all my dreams. Because I didn't tell them. I shut them out."

  "They didn't know you wanted to start an advertising agency?"

  "No. They knew I wanted to work in advertising." He laughed and shook his head. "My dad said I had turned out just like him after all. And he was excited to have another entrepreneur in the family. I didn't think that would be their reaction."

  "Why did they cut you off then?"

  "They wanted me to come back. Or maybe they just disapproved of my lifestyle. A combination maybe? It was just a misunderstanding. They were really excited to hear about you too. Almost as excited about hearing about the new company."

  "Did you tell them about splitting it with me?"

  "Splitting it? Who said anything about splitting it?"

  "Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean..."

  "I'm just kidding. Of course we're splitting it. And I didn't tell them about that. I'll let them meet you first. They'll get it." He smiled down at me.

  "You don't have to do it, you know. You could just give me a normal position at the company. With Kendra or something. I don't need to share the business with you. I just want you. I don't want all that."

  "I want to do it with you." He squeezed my shoulder. "Besides, I was getting really excited about the idea of sharing an office with you."

  "It's too much, Mason."

  "It's not like I'm going to let you skate by. You'll have to do half the work. I'm good with my decision. It's what I want. But if it's not what you want, we can talk about it."

  "I won't be holding you back?"

  "You won't be holding me back."

  I smiled and looked up at the snowflakes falling down on us. The sky had an orangey glow to it. "You named your new company after me."

  "I find you kind of inspiring, Bee. Now, there's one more part to the night. We can count snowflakes on our tongues on the way to the taxi."

  I laughed and stood up. He remembered what I always did with my mom in the snow.

  ***

  "Do I have to keep wearing this?"

  "Yes," Mason said as he grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the taxi.

  "I can't see anything."

  "That's kind of the point, baby." He lightly grazed the side of my cheek with his lips. He had undone his tie and blindfolded me with it in the car.

  "If this involves jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge into freezing cold water, I'm not sure I want to be an official New Yorker."

  "Nothing that crazy, I promise."

  "Have you done this before?"

  "Blindfolded a woman and lead her toward the icy waters of the East River? Only a dozen times."

  I meant to shove his chest but my hand landed on his abs. God I loved his abs.

  "You're getting a little ahead of yourself there. That's the after party."

  I laughed, but kept my hand on his abs. It helped me walk forward a little less shakily.

  "Whatever it is we're actually doing, have you done it before?"

  "I've been here before, yes. Not like this, though."

  I heard something ding and then suddenly I wasn't cold anymore. We must have stepped inside a building. "Are we just back at your place?"

  "So eager." He lead me farther into the building and then we stopped.

  "Ah!" I almost fell over when the floor started moving.

  Mason laughed. "It's just an elevator, Bee. You're okay." He had pressed my back against the side of the elevator.

  My fingers were gripping his shirt tightly. I tilted my head up even though I couldn't see him.

  "You know?" He kissed the side of my neck.

  It felt like I could melt onto the elevator floor.

  "The last time I had you in this dress, I had pictured doing all sorts of unspeakable things to you." He kissed my neck a little lower.

  "Unspeakable?"

  "Your favorite." He lightly bit my earlobe.

  A small moan escaped from my lips.

  "But not yet, baby. Not until you're a real New Yorker."

  "You don't want me right now?"

  "You should see the way the other people in the elevator are looking at you right now."

  "What? Mason!"

  He silenced me with a kiss. A kiss that made the tips of my fingers and toes tingle. He pulled away far too soon.

  "We're alone." His voice was low. He had missed this too. "But we still have a few things to talk about."

  The elevator doors dinged and I felt a blast of cold air hit me. Mason quickly wrapped his arms around me again.

  "Where are we?" It was freezing. Way colder than it had been before. The wind whipped through my hair. We had to be up high somewhere.

  "Bee." Mason pulled us to a stop and put his hands on either of my shoulders. "I could say all that cliché stuff about you being the other half of me and all that. And it is true in a sense. I'm a better version of myself when you're around. I'm not even sure I like the guy who I am without you in my life. But all of this is new to me. This feeling is new."

  Holy shit, is he going to propose? I didn't
want him to propose. I wanted to enjoy where we were. I didn't want to rush this feeling. We had our whole lives for that. I did want him in every way possible. But not like this. Not because he was scared I'd walk away again. I wasn't going to do that. "Mason..."

  "But it's a little of an understatement to say I have commitment issues. I know you want the whole white dress and a ring thing, but I'm not ready for that. And I 'd be lying if I said I was. I know how I feel. And I'm hoping that's enough. I'm never letting go of this feeling. You're all that I think about. But I need more time for all that. I want to take things slowly with you. I like taking things slow."

  It was like he had just hit every worry. My tears felt icy as they fell down my cheeks. I wished he would take my blindfold off. I wanted to see him. "I have commitment issues too. I'm terrified of love because I'm terrified of losing it."

  "You're not going to lose me."

  "I don't want you to make promises you can't keep."

  "I'm not going to break any promises I make you. I'm not letting you go. I'm never letting you go." He pulled the blindfold down my face.

  The whole city stretched out beneath us, completely lit up in the night, covered in a blanket of freshly fallen snow. It was beautiful.

  "Because this is how you make me feel. Like I'm on the top of the world. And when I let you walk away, it felt like I was freefalling from this building. I've never felt so alone before."

  "Me too. I mean, not falling, because I've never been up here." I smiled up at him. "I just felt really, really cold. Like your arms were the only thing that could ever warm me again."

  "I don't want to be alone anymore, Bee. I want to be with you. Ever since I've met you, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. And I'm so sick of standing still. I said a lot of things I didn't mean the other day. I think I was just scared to tell you I loved you because of all the stupid shit I had done. Telling you and then you walking out seemed unbearable. So I just said all these terrible things. But it didn't make it any less painful. I still had those feelings even though I didn't tell you."